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SLUGGA IS BURNING
Slugga
Is Burning is a typical type of WBL you would expect from the one, the only Joe
Slugga. Joe puts together his crazy antics, with his
attitude and posts it in writing form. Joe has been known to the WBL as the
hothead, but unbelievable General Manager who is always improving his team, and
to this day has finished 1st in the Eastern Hemisphere every single
year since he began owning. Slugga is burning will be
a mixture of ideas used by Jim Rome himself, but put into the form of WBL
writing. There will also be additional categories to talk about that have to do
with THE WBL.
SLUGGA’S RAMBLIN’-
Slugga’s Ramblin will pick a player who he
believes needs confronting and give you a lil’ spiel
on him. This could be
easy, for some players, but could be hard, watch and learn a true
hothead, doing what he does best.
Majuri Shipal-
To sum it up, this kid has a really bad and disturbing life, not that you should pity him at all. He has no real place in this simulation besides being a nuisance. The phrase, “he has a comment for everything” is a COMPLETE understatement for what this guy is all about. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that this piece of, (well I’ll keep it PG-13…) hates me and I obviously hate him. Here’s the sad thing boys, Majuri has told me in instant message that he does not mean most of the things he says…(pause) If you don’t mean it, then don’t say it you fool. They guy takes his “jokes” from a book next to him, sitting at his desk and calls them his own. Then again, they might be, considering he sits there all day when he gets back from school and posts, and comes up with disses. When looking for your GM, you have to consider the majority opinion of him by the public, and the players. Obviously this was not Mayo’s top priority when he agreed to signing this loser as Dublin’s GM. Just when I forget the world revolves around Shipal… he reminds me.
Deshawn Johnson-
There’s not too much to say about this guy, or his half-self, impersonator, Majuri Shipal. On every single post that Majuri posts against my player, or me, this loser Johnson is right there to either:
A. laugh
B. say he agreed
C. say Shipal is god
D. say he was thinking the same thing!
(pause)
I can understand having role models in this league, but having Majuri Shipal as yours, COME ON! The best part that you will find about “D-Train” is that before he started doing what he calls “bashing me”, I had never TALKED to the guy in my entire life. It’s highly likely that this kid looked at some old post saying “GB is the devil”, “because they win”, “George Steinbrenner= Joe Slugga.” These posts are absurd, and that I will get to later in this segment. To sum things up, grow up Deshawn, and figure out whom your real enemies are.
***COMMERICAL BREAK***
(Blake Roberts comes onto the TV Screen)
You may wonder how I knock in all these runs, and lead the league in homers year in and year out (a highlight of a home run against Montreal)
You may think I am always on top, but when your sex life takes a fall, some things can change.
(He shows a box of Viagra)
I use Viagra, and if your sex life is down, I suggest you do too!
I mean come on! How else do you think I bounced back and hit over .300 last year? :-D
We are back with the next segment of our show today, An MLB Comparison.
True or False, Joe Slugga is the WBL version of George Steinbrenner.
Obviously this statement is false, to even make this comment you would have to be a total newbie, or Rush Limbaugh on oxicotton… literally (pause) George Steinbrenner just spends, and then ends up with double, triple, or even quadruple the salary of other teams. As opposed to that, I put together a team of highly sought prospects. I play for the present and the season at hand, but at the same time mold prospects in our farm system. The difference mainly is that I have the knack for winning, and winning big but through fair play. Last season the Red Coats had the 7th highest payroll out of 12, meanwhile the Yankees had the HIGHEST out of 30 some odd MLB teams.
Our next segment is a look back on the 2009 Red Coats, which sports analysts all over have said to be the best hitting group of players in the WBL’s short history.
2009 Summary: The 2009 Red Coats had spunk. They came together on almost every cylinder and mixed as a team. Their togetherness helped them lead the league in ALL BATTING CATEGORIES, and lead the 2nd best team in runs by over 200, and lead the 2nd team in Home Runs by almost 100 homers. The Red Coats could quite possibly comparably have the best hitting team EVER in 2009. Here is a look at what they had.
C- Eric Mayo
Eric has a very inspirational background in the WBL, he has done a lot not only for the team, but for his own player’s benefit. Eric came to the Red Coats in the very beginning of the 2008 season. After a year of a playoff loss and no championship, GM Joe Slugga was hesitant to sign him. “I wasn’t sure that Eric had the urge to update in him,” Joe comments. To Joe’s surprise Eric’s season in GB’s minors was a very successful one. He batted over .400, and stole many bases. Originally Eric was supposed to play SS, but after a trade that brought in young and star prospect Vin Distacio, Eric was left positionless. Eric was no dummy, he understood that to be a Red Coat starter you had to really devote your time. In the off-season, Eric earned the Red Coats’s “Victorian Cross” when he converted to yet another position, catcher. Eric’s season was very productive in 2009, batting 2nd in the lineup, hitting for average while stealing bases.
1B- Joe Slugga
Need I say more? Joe Slugga, from the minute he stepped foot on World Baseball League soil, has been nothing short of spectacular. He brings something true and complete to the team and the sport. By stats, Joe has the second most RBI’s of all time, the 2nd most homers, and the 4th best average; not to mention he wasn’t a part of the 2003 season. Joe has been said to be a leader in the club house, and even a player of much respect. Joe earns the respect of his players by doing his best to keep the team of the previous year, while fitting the finance requirements. Joe’s legacy continues on and on, although he is one of the oldest players in the entire WBL.
2B- Richard Amato
Another jewel straight out of Slugga’s farm system, Richard was born to shine. As a member of the Great Britain 2008 prospect class, Richard enjoyed a MVP season in the minors, triple A ball. Shammond Guzman, an all star 2b, arguably the best; was Richard’s predecessor. And damn, he has been one heck of a rookie last season. Richard is a bit heavy you might say, but he is NOT out of shape. He is actually very much in shape. Richard may be known for his insane power, but he is also an excellent fielder. Richard is signed for the future, and should be a big part of Great Britain’s 2009 team.
SS- Vin Distacio
“Vinny… HEY VINNY!”, the crowd screams after Vin performs something well worthy of it. Vin Distacio is A TRUE Great Britain Red Coat. He has the red and white blood cells pumping by the minute, and is ALWAYS in the game cheering us on, no matter what, even in game 6 of the World Series, 9th inning when we were down 9 runs. Vin Distacio was a large portion of the puzzle that pieced together Great Britain’s 2008 prospect class. Although last season Vin cooled down after has MVP-like start, he was a huge piece to the WS banner hanging up in the stadium, and Great Britain’s first place record in the entire WBL. Vin combines hitting skills with speed and becomes an option leading off. Vinny is the Alfonso Soriano of the WBL. I cannot even begin to explain what Vin means to the team, as a co owner. He gets things taken care of that Joe Slugga cannot do by himself. He asks for little, but when he needs something he always has a valid reason for it. Vinny is one of my best friend’s in this sim without doubt.
James Sirbeepalot Jr.- 3B
James is what GM Joe Slugga has mentioned behind doors to be a HUGE disappointment. James even informed GB officials before last season (2009) that he wanted to DEFINITELY sign with the team in the off-season. He even went as far as saying he would convert to catcher eliminating the loss of Victor Vargas. He managed to do absolutely nothing, forcing Mayo to convert to catcher. Forgetting personal issues, James actually had a very nice season, while batting .280 with 50 home runs to show it. If stats meant everything, James would have been considered a big factor of our success. But instead he was a dickhead the entire time in the locker room, always the one making lewd comments and disappointing our scouts. Do not be surprised if you see James shipped out of Great Britain right after the World Series comes to a finish.
LF Scott Travers
Bottom line for Scotty is this- CLUBHOUSE CING (King). In the clubhouse and off the field Scott is a great man. He has done so much for the community in London, the team’s children, and so on. To say that Scott is a good man with a good soul would be an understatement. The kid gets out there on the field at 4 o' clock in the morning EVERDAY to field grounders from the groundball machine, or to practice his batting techniques. Batting wise, Scott is one more piece of Great Britain’s 2008 prospect class. As a matter of fact, when Great Britain took a glance, they thought Scott was hands down the best of the bunch, and he started in 2008 even! Scott had a minimal season but if paid dividends for his 2009 year, almost like a warm-up season for the kid. Scott was another piece of the 2009 World Series year, and the franchise itself.
Ken Griff- CF
Ken Griff is a very good Center fielder, and a good fielder for that matter, but in the Outfield he very much reminds me of Manny Ramirez with his attitude. He always wants what’s best for him. He talked Slugga into keeping him at Center Field although he agreed to convert to catcher. Throwing out what you say is not something that most players in this league like, and fans either for that matter. Even when Griff found himself batting 5th instead of 2nd he complained at had a hissy fit at Joe Slugga. Back to the stats, in the biggest off-season move for Great Britain, they brought in star Center fielder, Ken Griff. At first, Griff was very difficult, acted much like a baby as I stated earlier. Eventually he got his way though, and named Great Britain his new home. In 2008 Griff broke out and won ROY, and then in 2009 his power numbers are still way up there. Griff cleans up what Shawn usually leaves him, to say the least.
Shawn Walker- RF
Shawn is a phenomenal person and a great player as well. Shawn couldn’t have repeated exactly what he did the season before winning an MVP title, but he could earn respect by hitting in a lineup like Great Britain’s was, and actually CLEANING UP. Shawn worked hard as Co manager, but also spent time continuing his hitting to perfect that. Shawn Walker has been a big part of the Coats in his history as manager, team insider, and player of course. Known to fans as the 2008 MVP; but known to Joe as a “respectable leader who takes his job as Co- owner very seriously.” Shawn was not a homegrown player though for Great Britain. Dustin Parmalee saw this guy play in Dublin and jumped on the offer signing him after Great Britain’s 2005 World Series win (just before the financial system was announced). Shawn works hard cleaning up for our hitters, and worked really hard in help to get Great Britain, and owner Joe Slugga, that World Series title.
Summary-
In summary I do not think there is any argument at all that Great Britain’s 2009 batting was the best hitting team to ever play together on a WBL team. You could say the Rush in 2004 were good, but most of their guys had not even developed yet, into the superstars they are now. Great Britain’s 2009 team, in 2010 when the new financial system came out, had five different players who were well over 10 million dollars, in: Vin Distacio, Richard Amato, Joe Slugga, Shawn Walker, and Ken Griff. Not to mention, they had two guys who were just short of 10 million dollars. The Great Britain batting in 2009 made such a rapid improvement that it is hard to say that they also had the best prospect class to ever be a part of the WBL.
***COMMERCIAL***
Rise, and Fall
Rise- Seoul Storm management-
For most managers, it will take at least a year for rebuilding season, where you find your talent in your farm system, and you work with them. You normally have a system of player managers who build your team and have a manageable salary. Seoul made its impact the first season they ever played in this league. Seoul’s general managers are World Baseball League legends to many; Quint Newcomer and Sam Baig. They have always have been said to be cool, calm, and collected at all times of the game and off the field in press conferences, and so on. I personally have gotten to know Sam and Quint. In the first few seasons Quint and I were best bros as well. As for Sam, he is a great guy and he never gives up on what he believes in. Although Great Britain won the World Series last year, and the Eastern Hemisphere title, Seoul is the frontrunner for the 2010 season in some people’s eyes.
Fall- Blake Roberts
It looks like he jumped off the Rush boat at the wrong time. Right now the Rush are finally coming together to buildup a powerhouse hitting team. They have legends such as Shultz, Joe Slugga, and Shawn Baig back on their team to serve them another year of greatness. Blake has finally moved on to another team, that comparably has Baig, Newcomer, and now Blake himself. Although I agree that the hitting on Seoul is very good, they strive a lot on their pitching, trading for all star Levesque (who by the way makes the most money in the WBL). Although the Seoul lineup will be good for Blake, it will be nothing compared to the Rush lineup.
Rise- Russian Revolution
After a disgusting triple digit loss season, Rhiner has found his net when moving the team to Russia. The team has since made some MAJOR moves to actually make them a competitor. First they brought in all star Right Fielder Shawn Walker because they knew Great Britain was having money problems, and they took advantage of that. Secondly this team has built up its pitching getting co owner Smith Wesson to join the team. Rhiner has become a very good owner in this long off-season. He is bringing winning, to a team that has not won in a while.
Fall- Frankfurt Force
After losing their BIG co-owner, Josh Andrews, the team has pretty much fallen down into the depths of the Atlantic Ocean. (pause) Josh and his two all star players leaving, and their staff being depleted is causing Frankfurt to have a bad team. Their hitting has become all but consistent, and they are looking at a possible last place season. Talent wise, this team has what it takes to compete with others, but they lack that something that all baseball teams need. They lack what would separate them from the other teams in comparison. They may have traded for Shipal and other big name starters but in the WBL you cannot only have pitching if you want to win. You must have hitting to compete with the best these days. Tony Kobbs as well, is also proving that he only won MVP because of the lineup he hit in.
Sit-down, Smack down, Showdown
Sit-down-
This week’s sit down belongs to the Great Britain Red Coats. On opening night they were embarrassed by losing to 2009’s worst team in the entire league. Dublin went undefeated, and Great Britain was left winless. Andy Quigly completely sat down all 9 batters continuously only letting up a single run. If the first game set a tone for anything, it set a tone for Dublin’s season coming up. They were pretty much a laughing stock the last season in the WBL. When people thought of the town, the stadium, even the players they just chuckled and said “wow this team sucks.” As manager, after 1 game, Mayo had more wins than he did in 55 games as owner last year. This accomplishment was a morale booster for the team, yet somehow afterwards Majuri managed to fu*k it up, yeah as usual. Anyway, the Dublin Fighting Irish took care of business opening night, in the midst of stunning the entire crowd, of a jam packed stadium proving that the WBL has gained parody, and the days of franchises of greatness could come to a sudden cease.
Smack down-
The Caracas Cougars hosted Santo Domingo Rush, if you can even say that much. It was more like a slug fest between fellow Cougar players. The pitching match up was Lawley vs. Carmelo Jackson, which you could expect to be some hell of a pitching match up, but NO, this turned into an all out brawl, in favor of the Caracas Cougars. Explaining that they “layith the smacked down” would be understating how they dealt with the Rush. After only a couple innings of work, Lawley was bombed and destroyed by the power hitting of Jermaine Guzman, Shammond Guzman, and Josh Andrews. In total, Andrews obviously won player of the game after hitting four home runs and single handedly helping them out. The Caracas Cougars are just another team caught up in the web that calls itself the Western Hemisphere. The league in the West is a bunch of teams all with talent, even Cancun, that battle out every game in a great match up. In this particular won some could say the better team lost, but all I can say is WOW.
Showdown-
It looks like its shaping up to have a new showdown in the Eastern Hemisphere, just like mostly every year. Every season it’s been Great Britain and Iceland, Great Britain and Dublin, and more recently Great Britain and Frankfurt and Great Britain and Seoul. This year, once again it’s a new team taking the place, to face off against the Coats. This showdown belongs to South Africa, in a showdown against Great Britain. So far the teams have played 2 games through 10. They each share the same overall record, and have each beaten the other once this season. The season so far looks as if these two teams could be set on a mention for an all out blood fest until the season’s end when one of the team wins the great prize for playing for first, home field advantage. (pause) It looks as if the showdown could come to an end though, considering the likelihood that Dave Boean who hasn’t touched a mitt until this year is pitching to a 1 ERA, as is Kurz and they are BOTH in the rotation. In summary, I think that the Great Britain Coats will once again win this “match up”
THE FORUM-
(Note: This part of the show is a debate between 4
people, but I did not interview any of these people, I wrote for them what they
would say.)
Hey guys we are back. Today in the forum we are debating the hottest topics that are taking place right now in the WBL. Today we have me, Shawn Walker, Quint Newcomer, and Andy Quigly.
The first topic is this, Great Britain’s chances of repeating their World Series win in 2010.
( SW= SHAWN WALKER
QN= QUINT NEWCOMER
AQ= ANDY QUIGLY
JS= MYSELF
JS- Well personally I think this is very possible. The team has made its improvements and also lost its share of players in the off-season, but overall has done what’s best for the team. The new cap definitely pinched the Red Coats but I think they will prevail. Every year this team has showed me and the world that they can do it, I don’t see why this season should be any different at all. The fact of the matter is, there are three things that go into the Red Coats’ success. 1, talent; 2 prospect class, 3 management; when those four things are in tact, the Coats are bound for success.
QN- Are you nuts bro? This team’s chances of repeating are slim to none. The chances of them actually to get out of the east, to make it to the playoffs let alone are tough. They have two new teams in their division (South Africa and Seoul) that have better teams or damn close teams to the Red Coats and will pretty much for sure make the playoffs. If it comes down to those three teams for the playoff race I would not even be surprised if they beat out the Coats leaving them to dry.
AQ- I think this team will for sure win the east this year, and for that matter win the World Series again. It is just impossible as a manger me knowing, to beat Joe Slugga at his own game, managing. Owners in the past have tried and tried to even play the game that Joe plays, and even mimic what he does. It has proven to not work. His strategies and techniques come into play as you see an MV Shultz producing at a 500 thousand dollar salary. Great Britain will win it over the Rush this year, as Joe Slugga gets to manage the opposing team for the first time ever.
SW- Quigly, I highly doubt that you are right on this one. In this day and age in the WBL, the chances of repeating a World Series are slim to none. To go along with the parody presented, the Red Coats lost their two most powerful hitters in Joe Slugga and Shawn Walker, I do not see how a team who won the World Series in 7 games, can win it again with their two best players on different teams.
JS) on to the next topic…
Out in a “Rush”
After many said that the Rush were frontrunners for the World Series in 2010, they have gotten off to a slow start, will they be out or in this year?
JS- I think they are definitely in this year, I think that you must look at what they have going for them. To go along with what looks like the most powerful lineup in the entire league, they have the team smarts. The have veterans such as Shultz and Slugga who can easily lead the way. Now, I am not guaranteeing that they do what they did in 2004 with the similar players, but I do think they will at least be in the playoffs.
SW- Well I am not sure about this team, even from the start of the season in my mind the Rush were always a question mark to me. They do not have the pitching that you need to win a World Series in the World Baseball League. They do have the power and average hitting, which is something we both cannot deny, but I question their ability to close out games, or even start them for that matter.
AQ- I think this team will win the Western Hemisphere AND the playoffs hands down. Yeah they are going through a bit of a rough spot right now, but they have shown GLIMSES OF THE 2004 RUSH! Any team that can come close to the caliber of that team is a good team in anyone’s mind. I think that with Joe Slugga, Shawn Baig, Shultz, and heck even La Roche by playoff time this team will be unbeatable and we will all be seeing the third team to compile 2 World Series banners.
QN- Please Quigly, this team may have added some needed hitting but they lack pitching as Shawn obviously proved. I do not think that the management balanced the hitting with the pitching correctly this season. Putting all of your faith into Jameson to start and win games is not something I would do.
WELL DUE TO A LONGER SHOW, THAT’S ALL WE HAVE TODAY FOR THE FORUM! JOIN US NEXT WEEK AS WE GO INTO DETAIL, WITH THREE NEW GUESTS:
SAM BAIG
GERALD SHULTZ
AND
KIP WESLEY